Monday Morsel: Trent Shelton

 

 

Broken crayons still color the same.

There is one piece of advice that I have always hated: “just choose to be happy.”

Right. Because I choose to cry. Because I choose to have a gaping black pit where my heart ought to be. Because I choose to float through the day with my mind as numb as my fingertips. There are some things you don’t choose.

Sure, I could plaster a practiced smile onto my pretty face. I could talk to people and laugh when something is supposed to be funny. I could fill my days with many a productive activity. But just because I can act happy doesn’t mean I can be happy.

It doesn’t work that way.

If you are unhappy, ask yourself why? Is it a situation? A relationship? What is your trigger?

Figure it out yet? Ok. I’m going to tell you what to do.

First, take a good, long look at it. Can you fix it? Can you make it right? I’m not asking if it is easy, I’m asking if it is possible.

No? Then there is a second option.

Get. Out.

Don’t force yourself to suffer. If you find yourself somewhere everyday that makes you feel worse than empty, don’t go there!

Now you’re going to tell me, “oh, but I can’t drop out of school! I can’t quit my job! I can’t leave my friends!”.

I’m not telling you to drop out. Obviously, don’t be stupid. But see if there are other options. I can say that I personally switched schools. I was emotionally in pain every day. I couldn’t help people when I was in such a state. So I searched, and I found another program that seemed much more suited to me. It meant changing my plans, but it offered me different opportunities, and I know I would not be where I am today if I hadn’t made that choice.

Is it really worth keeping that job? Are you absolutely certain there is nowhere else you could make a living? Are you working towards what you want to spend the rest of your life doing?

You have full right to cut ties with anyone who drags you down. You don’t have to be mean, but you also don’t have to put up with other peoples crap.

You deserve to be happy. And you deserve to be real.

I think the only thing worse than being depressed is being made to wear a smile through it all, as you break silently under the surface.

So stop “choosing to be happy”, and choose a better life.

You may be broken, but you can still color. You must take charge of your own canvas. Other people will contribute to your masterpiece, other people are important. But you choose what you want it to look like. You are the artist of your life.

You can be happy. You can be real.

Put yourself in a place where you can realize those possibilities. Live the life you wish you were living. Plan your days so that you roll out of bed with excitement rather than dread. Find a way.

Broken crayons still color the same.